Big Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf
by PervertFarmer
Summary: A twist on Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. Derek x Stiles. Just a two-shot fluff.
1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

 **Once upon a time there was a little boy named Derek-**

"There is nothing little about me," Derek frowns, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "I'm twenty-five,"

 **Okaay** **... Once upon a time there was a man named Derek who had an Uncle who lived in the Dark Forest. He was sick and Derek loved his Unc-**

"I don't love that man," Derek huffed, eyebrows furrowing.

 **Can I please just tell the story?**

"..."

 **Okay then. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Derek's Uncle was very sick and his sister, unable to leave her children unattended, asked her little brother to bring some bread and wine to their sick Uncle.**

"Why am I bringing him wine if he's sick?"

You know what?! Do you want to tell the story cause I'm over it!

"Okay," Derek mutters, clearly not giving a damn either way.

W-wait, I was just kidd-

The sun was just beginning to rise as night fled to the other side of the world, and just on the outskirts of a small village, where chickens roamed and cows mooed, lived the Hale family. Their cottage was a charming one, with vines that grew up the sides and hay that cushioned the ground. It was a lovely little home where Laura Hale lived with her husband and three kids.

"Robin! Goldi! Jack! Breakfast is ready!" She called as she pulled the pot away from the open fire, grabbing a ladle and scooping hot, steaming porridge into three bowls. She set the bowls down on the table, hearing from above the pattering off feet followed by three small kids rushing down the stairs, shoulders and pushing one another, trying to be the first to reach the bottom. Laura watched with amusement as the kids rushed to the table, one by one.

Jack, the oldest, sat down, a huge grin on his face. He was the oldest but the most childish. Then it was Goldi, the youngest and Laura's only girl. She was a bit of a kleptomaniac-

"Goldi! Stop trying to eat your brother's porridge!" Laura scolded, just as Robin yanked the bowl from his sister's greedy little hands. Robin was the middle child and though he was charming and the most behaved out of the three. He had a bit of an ego that made him hard to deal with.

"Keep your chubby fingers off my bowl!" Robin frowned, Goldi sticking her tongue out at him.

"Ma, guess what I did yesterday!" Jack beamed, trying to grab his mother's attention while the other two argued. Laura smiled and looked at her son, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear.

"What did you do Jack?" She hummed sweetly, carding a hand through her son's hair. "I found a couple of beans out at the edge of the forest and I planted them next to the lettuce,"

"I found a couple of beans out at the edge of the forest and I planted them next to the lettuce. Mom you won't believe it, they're already starting to grow!"

"Liar!" Goldi laughed, teasing her brother. "The only thing green about your thumb is the fungus growing on it,"

"I don't have fungus growing on my thumb!" Jack snapped, glaring at his sister, though he tried to nonchalantly look at his hands though everybody saw him checking.

"Why don't you stop trying to grow beans and grow a girlfriend instead?" Robin smirked and the mention of a girlfriend had Laura frowning.

"Okay that's enough you three. If you're done eating go and do your chores," Laura frowned, the kids groaning in response, but trudging along anyway.

"Stop touching me!" Robin groaned as Jack licked one of his fingers before trying to put it in Robin's ear, the three of them bickering all the way out the door. Laura heaved a tired sigh as she grabbed their empty bowls off the table.

"Why so noisy," Derek grumbled as he trudged down the stairs, Laura turning to look at her brother with a raised eyebrow, noticing he hadn't bothered to do his hair or button his shirt correctly.

"That's the sound of people who have their lives together," Laura quipped. "Why are you waking up so late, did you forget what you have to do today?" She frowned, Derek rolling his eyes at that as he let out a yawn.

"Fix the wagon, yeah I know, I'll do it after I eat something,"

"No," Laura drawled, grabbing Derek's shoulder and starting to push him towards the door. "The wagon has already been fixed. You need to visit our uncle Derek," Derek's nose scrunched up in distaste at the mention of their uncle, a look of disinterest crossing his face as he made a beeline for the table, leaving Laura at the door.

"Don't wanna," Derek muttered, taking off the lid to see the pot full of porridge, a frown crossing his lips. Maybe he'll skip breakfast.

"Derek, you've been putting it off for three days now. He's sick and he needs help around the house," Laura groans, a deep line settling in her forehead.

"Then why don't you go?" Derek huffs, crossing her arms.

"I can't, I have kids to look after. Plus women aren't allowed to travel through the Dark Forest, remember?" Laura deadpanned, a distasteful look on her face as she scowled at her brother.

"Oh, right..." Derek muttered to himself.

"Look, I made him some bread and there are grapes and wine all in that basket over there," Laura huffed, gesturing to the basket sitting on the counter and Derek wonders why he didn't notice that before. "Just go and take it to him. It's not like you have a girlfriend,"

"What? What does me having a girlfriend or not have to do with this,"

"Everything," Laura huffs, crossing her arms. "If you had a girlfriend, you would be living with her, not me. If you had a girlfriend, she would waste time cooking food you refuse to eat- not me," Laura heaves and suddenly it feels like the room is getting hot, but maybe that's just the agitation that seems to be boiling over inside of her as she starts to close the distance between her and her brother.

"You would leave your clothes everywhere at her place instead of here. You would forget to take out her trash and not mine. You would be there and not here so that my husband and I could have some alone time," She breathes out, grabbing the basket. "And most of all, you wouldn't have to go to Uncle's and I wouldn't be nearly as pissed," She says all too calmly as she shoves the basket into his hands, Derek staring at her wide eyed as she keeps going on a rant, but he can barely make sense of what she's saying with all that foam in her mouth.

"Now leave!" She snaps, shoving Derek out the door, the flimsy wood being slammed shut right behind him. It's quiet for a moment as he stands there with a basket n his hands.

"I didn't eat breakfast!" Derek calls out, staring at the door. It's quiet for a moment, but then he hears stomping and the door swings open and for a split second he sees Laura's face, but she's throwing a red cloak at him, and now he can't see anything as it drapes itself over his face.

"There's your stupid red cloak too!" She snaps before closing the door once more.

 **Hah, bet you wished I was telling the story now-**

"Shutup," Derek grunts out, pulling the cloak from his face.

 **O-okay..**

* * *

Walking down the path that led to the Dark Forest, Derek begrudgingly set out to do as he was told, wearing his red cloak to keep out the chilly morning air as a soft breeze traveled through the air, but seemed to stop just at the edge of the Dark Forest as if afraid to touch the leaves of the trees. Rabbits hopped and played with one another, unafraid of adventure yet seemed to stop dead in their tracks right before the forest. Ants dared not travel on the path and grass seemed to stop growing right at the mouth of the forest but Derek, so uncaring and uninterest in the way the tree branches groaned and seemed to whisper 'death', kept going forward, entering the forest.

He wasn't worried. As long as he stayed on the path he would be fine. However, this did not stop him from noticing how much colder it was in the forest or how dimly lit it was, the sunlight unable to fully reach him through the thick canopies. This was so stupid. Why the hell did he have to bring this crap to his Uncle? Who the hell eats bread and drinks wine to get better anyway? Derek paused at that, his stomach growling slightly as he remembered what was in the basket.

"Technically wine is made out of grapes- he won't be missing out on the fruit," He muttered to himself as he started eating the grapes in the basket, continuing down the dirt path that led to his Uncle's house.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Derek Hale, there lied a wolf deep within the forest. With a large brown tail and brown ears that twitched at the slightest of sounds. Stiles- while he wasn't a wolf, he wasn't human either. He was both.

"God I'm so hungry" Stiles breathes out as he sits there on the forest floor, playing with a small mouse that he had caught, the poor thing's tail trapped between his fingers. The poor thing squeaked for its life as Stiles stared at it with wide, brown, hungry eyes, his throat beginning to thicken as he slowly brought the small creature to his lips, the mouse struggling even harder.

"Just eat it, Stiles," He mumbled to himself. "Eat it and just- Gah I can't do it!" Stiles groaned out, setting the mouse down on the ground and watching as it scurried away, his tail slowly wagging in disappointment as another meal made its escape. Stiles let out a defeated sigh as his stomach groaned, the half human, half wolf, rolling onto his back, letting the sun hit his skin as he lay there in the clearing.

"Ugh... So hungry," He groaned. Just then a twig broke, his ears stiffening at the sound and in one swift move, Stiles was sitting up, staring at the direction in which the sound came from. Another twig snaps and Stiles is already on his feet, rushing towards the sound. He hops over fallen tree limbs, stalks through the bushes and finally it hits his nose. The smell of a human and he finds himself hiding behind a tree as he stares at the trail, noticing a man wearing a bright red cloak walking down the path with a basket in his hand.

"Hmmm," Stiles hums to himself, sneaking from tree to tree as he watches the man continue down the path. All Stiles can think as Derek keeps walking, unaware that he's being watched, is that he has found his ultimate meal ticket. Stiles eyes scan Derek body and even though he's wearing a cloak, the wolf can tell Derek is built, his shoulders are and there is definitely meat on those bones.

"Ugh.. I want it," Stiles groans, as he watches Derek keep walking, eating grapes as he travels down the path and all Stiles sees is a walking drumstick.

Derek unaware of eyes watching his every movement, comes along a curve in the path as he pops another grape into his mouth, noticing the large puddle of water in the middle of the path and he stops for a second, wondering when the hell it rain, but before he can move to continue, he hears a rustling in the bushes nearby, a scowl crossing hs face as his body tenses and his ears strain.

"Who's there!?" Derek demands as he watches the bushes rustle, see the leaves shake and starts to ball his fist, ready for whatever will come out of there. "Show yourself!" He snaps, growing impatient, finding the urge to just go over there and get this ready with, but suddenly the rustling stops and he isn't sure what the hell is happening until a rabbit come running out of the bushes, scurrying down the path and Derek stands there for a second before letting out a sigh.

"Of course it's a rabbit," He mumbles to himself, feeling stupid for being so on guard for a rabbit of all things.

"Hey there!" Stiles chimes in just as Derek turns around to continue down the path, the two of them face to face as Stiles' gives the older man a toothy grin, looking right up at him and he wasn't expecting the height difference to be this much- suddenly there's a fist in his face and pain erupts from his nose and he's pretty sure he heard a crack as he stumbles backwards.

"Y-you," Stiles stumbles out, eyes watering as he looks up at Derek, clutching his nose as the man stares down at him with a deep set frown, using his rag to wipe invisible dirt off his fist as if touching Stiles was like touching poop. "Why the hell did you punch me!" Stiles snaps, but the venom in his voice goes flat from all the pain in his nose and the tears that flow without permission and Derek rolls his eyes at that.

"You startled me-"

"So you punched me in the face?!" Stiles huffs, making sure there's no blood. Thank god, he's not bleeding. Wait, it's not broken is it? It would bleed if it's broken, right?

"Not my fault. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," Derek says nonchalantly, pausing for a second before narrowing his eyes. "Besides, I didn't hit you that hard. Stop being a baby," Derek huffs before walking off, stepping over the puddle of water. He needs to pick up the pace otherwise he won't get back home till nightfall.

"I'm definitely going to eat him," Stiles grumbled to himself before rushing to catch up with him.

"W-wait, what's your name?" Stile breathed as he fell into step with Derek, struggling to keep up with the pace, noticing his legs were way shorter than Derek's.

"Who wants to know?" Derek grumbles, not bothering to look at the wolf, wishing he would just go away already.

"Me?" Stiles frowned, wondering what kind of question was that. A dumb one? "Mine is Stiles,"

"Noone asked," Derek muttered, Stiles trying so hard not lose his temper. Who the hell did this guy think he was? Jesus, so freaking rude.

"Ugh... what's in the basket?" Stiles muttered, pointing at the basket on Derek's arm as he leaned in to sniff at it. "Food?" Derek frowned at that as he leaned away from the wolf, slowly starting to get really annoyed.

"What do you want?" Derek snaps, stopping in his tracks, Stiles doing the same, nearly falling forward.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Stiles laughs nervously, averting Derek's eyes as the taller ma scowls at him, Stiles' tail wagging low to the ground as his ears start to droop.

"If you want me to say sorry, I won't. You're a wolf, if your feelings are that hurt then you're stupid," Derek frowns and Stiles sputters out incoherent words at that.

"St-st, who? What? I'm not stupid!" Stiles snaps back, growling slightly and Derek is completely unphased.

"Then leave me alone," Derek huffs, but Stiles clearly doesn't hear him, because he does the complete opposite.

"You're the stupid one, walking in the woods by yourself, wearing a bright ass cloak. Who does that?" Stiles scoffs, Derek staring at him. Just staring and Stiles starts to fidget under his gaze, suddenly feeling uneasy. Wait! He's the wolf here, if anyone should be uneasy, it should be Derek.

"H-hey, what are you doing in these woods all by yourself anyway?" Stiles hums. That's right Stiles put the moves on him. "Don't you know it's dangerous out here?" He questions, looking deep into Derek's eyes, his tail curling around him, gently rubbing against the back of Derek's hand and all the dark man can do is stare at him for a moment, before slapping Stiles tail away.

"What did I say? You're being stupid," Derek huffs, walking off.

"I'm not stupid! What're you a fourth grader!? Stop calling me that!" Stiles yells, fed up with this as he yells at Derek's back, the man clearly not listening as he keeps walking.

"I need to step up my game," Stiles mutters to himself, looking around, trying to think of something. And then it hits him as he notices something in the distance, a small grin spreading across his lips.

"Finally he's gone," Derek breathes, turning to see the path empty behind him. "Okay, just a little bit further and I might make it home in time for dinner," Derek mutters to himself as he continues on the path.

"Yoo hoo~" There's this weird howling sound that Derek is faintly sure is suppose to resemble a female's voice but as he looks off to his left to see Stiles laying in a nearby bed of flowers, he wants nothing to with any of this as he notices the flowers tucked behind the young wolf's ears.

"What the he-"

"You there sir," Stiles calls out, batting his eyes as his brown bushy tail wave slowly in the air as if beckoning Derek. 'This will woo him for sure,' Stiles thinks as he calls after the man.

"Stiles, I know that's you, " Derek sighs and Stiles tenses at that, genuinely shocked.

"Wh- How!?" He breathes out and Derek just stares at him, hoping that question was rhetorical. All he did was put flowers behind his ears and raise the pitch in his voice.

"A-anyway.. come pick flowers with me!" Stiles huffs and Derek frowns at that, slowly walking forward and Stiles tail starts to wag excitedly as Derek stops right at the edge of the trail. 'Just a few more steps,' Stiles whines, but Derek doesn't make a move to walk any further and Stiles tail slowly in disappointment as he stares at Derek.

"Oh I think I get it now," Derek mutters and Stiles heart drops.

"Y-you do?" Stiles trails, wondering how the hell he caught on so fast.

"Yeah, you're simple," Derek mutters plainly, Stiles flailing his arms.

"Is that just another way of calling me stupid?" Stiles frowns, Derek shrugging his arms.

"Yeah, but this time, it's not your fault. You were just born that way,"

"I'm not simple!" Stiles snaps, his chest rising and falling as anger starts to fill his entire body. What the hell is with this guy.

"Then why the hell do you want me to pick flowers with you?!" Derek snaps, growing impatient.

"Because I'm hungry damnit!" Stiles snaps, climbing to his feet, his whole body tensing.

"Oh," It's a sound that comes out of both of them at the same time as they stare at each other, Derek looking at Stiles with this blank stare, the wolf fidgeting underneath his gaze, cursing himself.

"So, you wanted me to come off the path so what?" Derek muttered, smirking a little. "You could eat me?" Stiles paused at that, eyes looking towards the ground.

"Y-yeah.. I'm the big bad wolf.. It's kind of my MO," Stiles mutters, kicking at the ground. Derek went quiet at that, staring at the path ground and how one more step he would've been off the path.

"W-what are you doing!?" Stiles blurts out, hands flailing in the air as he watches Derek walk off the path and into the flower bed.

"What? You wanted me off the path didn't you?" Derek hummed, Stiles mouth opening and closing like he was completely overwhelmed, but the way his tail was wagging like crazy said otherwise.

"Well, aren't you hungry?" Derek muttered, spreading his arms apart as if to say 'here I am'.

"Shut up! Are you making fun of me?!" Stiles huffed, hesitant on what to do.

"I'm giving you a chance. Take it or starve," Stiles paused at that, rocking nervously back and forth, clearly having an internal battle.

"Fine! Don't have any regret when you're in my belly!" Stiles huffed as he walked up the taller man.

"Sure, sure, no regrets," Derek muttered, watching as Stiles walked up to him, noticing how sharp his nails were as he took his arm in his hands. Watching as Stiles wrapped his lips around his arm, Derek frowned slightly, a strange sensation on his arm as he watched Stiles' tail wag like crazy.

'Idiot, now I'm going to devour you,' Stiles thought to himself, teeth pressing into the skin on Derek's arm, gnawing at the flesh.

"That tickles," Derek muttered, voice void of emotion as Stiles kept biting him. It was like a puppy in it's teething phase.

"I..." Stiles trailed slowly pulling away, realizing he didn't even break the skin. "I can't do it..." Stiles groaned, bowing his head in defeat as Derek wiped away the slobber on his arm with his cloak.

"Do you finally realize I'm twice your size so it's impossible?" Derek sighed, Stiles slowly nodding his head, ears drooped, tail no longer wagging.

"Yes..."

"And that you chew like you have baby teeth,"

"Shutup,"

"You honestly would've had a better chance if you caught a mouse," Stiles tensed at that, his chest aching as if someone just stabbed him in the heart, Derek pausing at that. "Don't tell me..." Derek trailed, eyes widening in disbelief.

"It was too innocent to eat!" Stiles groaned, this defeated look on his face.

"What?" Derek huffed, frowning at him. "What kind of wolf are you? You can't eat a mouse but you can eat a human?"

"Acutally.." Stiles trailes averting his eyes to the ground. "I don't really like raw meat so... I guess that's why I stopped trying to eat you, hahaha,"

"There is nothing funny about how stupid you are," Derek muttered. his wolf was infuriating. Annoying as hell. He should just leave, he's wasted enough time as is- suddenly Stiles stomach started to growl, the sound way too loud for either of them to pretend it didn't happen, Stiles face starting to heat up embarrassment.

"God..." Derek grumbled, muttering something to himself that Stiles couldn't quite hear as the older man started fishing around in the basket.

"Hey, what're you doi-hmpf!" Stiles choked on his own voice as Derek suddenly shove a piece of bread into his mouth, of course, Stiles didn't know what was just shoved into his mouth, but the idiot chewed anyway before swallowing it. It was quiet for a moment as Stiles stared up at Derek with a bewildered look on his face, Derek faintly wondering if he broke him.

"What the hell did you just shove into my mouth and how can I get more!?" Stiles breathed, grabbing at Derek's cloak, the man backing away with a small frown as Stiles tail started wagging again.

"Stop it before you put holes in my cloak,"

"Listen here Red! I want more of that delicious fluff or I'll really eat you!" Stiles warned, craving more of whatever that light, tasty food was.

"Eat me?" Derek scoffed, rolling his eyes at that. "This coming from a wolf who can't eat even a mouse. You're like a domestic animal," If that didn't hurt Stiles, the poor wolf didn't know what would. It felt like someone stabbed him in the chest again, Stiles slowly bowing his head. Derek heaved a sigh at that, fishing into his basket once more.

"Here..." Derek mumbled, handing the remaining loaf of bread to Stiles, the wolf perking right up as he grabbed it, eagerly starting to scarf down the bread.

"Hey, chew before you swallow or you'll choke," Derek muttered as he started walking again, Stiles right beside him. But his warning was too late as Stiles swallowed the last bit of bread, choking on it as it went down.

"Told you," Derek muttered as Stiles' eyes started to tear up, throat burning. "Here, drink some wine," Derek sighed, offering the wolf some of the wine from the basket.

"W-what's wane?" Stiles frowned, holding back a cough as Derek uncorked the bottle before handing it to Stiles.

"Wine," Derek corrected. "It's like water," Stiles paused at that before starting to drink from the bottle, chugging it down.

"Idiot! Don't drink it all!" Derek snapped, trying to pry the bottle from Stiles' hands.

"Hey, seriously though why are you out here?" Stiles breathed as Derek to the wine away from him, though Stiles wasn't bothered, it didn't really taste like water.

"... To visit my Uncle... he's sick,"

"Oh," Stiles hummed, pausing as a thought crossed his mind. "Wait, was that basket of food for him,"

"Yeah, my sister wanted me to give it to...him..." Derek trailed, realization creeping in as he suddenly stopped walking, Stiles frowning slightly at that.

"Derek?"

* * *

 **Derek never made it to his Uncle's that night...**


	2. Chapter 2

"You had one job! Take the basket to Uncle Peter," Laura snaps, walking back and forth throughout the kitchen, her face slowly turning red as Derek sits there at the table, head cradeled in his hands as he watches her tire herself out.

"Laura-"

"Nowhere in there did I say you should end the journey half way, and eat up all the food," Laura breathes out, cutting her brother off as she picks up a wooden spoon off the counter, using it as some sort of magic wand that could materialize her frustrations as she waves it in the air.

"Laur-"

"I can't believe this. It's taken me weeks to get you to go and when you finally do, you screw it up this bad," Laura groans, pointing the spoon at him now. "And don't even get me started on the wine! To think my brother is a no good drunk-"

"Hey, how much longer do I have to stand out here? I really need to pee," Stiles groans as he pokes his head through the door, ears twitching from the cold air outside.

"What?" Laura mutters quietly, eyes landing on Stiles, eyes focused on the two very, obvious wolf ears on top of his head. "What the hell is that!?" She half screams, chucking her spoon at him without thinking, the wooden spoon hitting Stiles' square in the nose, the poor guy going down for the count as he clutches at his face, tears scratching at his eyes.

"What the hell was that fo- Stop her!" Stiles rushes, Laura reaching for a pot and now Derek is there, stopping her even though he kinda didn't want to.

"Laura calm down," he mutters, but his sister is not having any of that, because there's some strange mutant dog-boy in her kitchen and the last thing anyone should be telling her is to calm down.

"What the hell is that thing!?" Laura snaps, holding a defensive stance, holding the pot out in front of her like it was some sort of impenetrable shield.

"Rude!" Stiles snaps, slowly moving to stand, flinching when Laura moved to chuck the pot at him, but Derek caught it with ease, brows knitting in frustration.

"It talks! Kill it!" Laura rushed, moving to grab a broom and Stiles went slightly pale at that.

"Woah, woah, woah! Who's killing who here?!" He rushes and Derek just wants to go to bed now, holding his sister by the shoulders, holding her back with ease as she waved the broom around like a crazy person.

"Mom?" It was quiet and so innocent and for a moment Laura was completely quiet as her three children stumbled down the stairs, clearly having been woken up from their sleep, tired eyes scanning the room. It was quiet for a long time, Stiles turning to look at the three children, this permanent, 'wtf' look on his face as he looked at each and everyone of them. They all looked like Laura-

"Dog!" Goldi cheered, eyes going wide wih surprise as she looked at Stiles, rushing straight for him like a freakin missle, jumping on his back and down he goes, her fingers latching on to his ears.

"Stop!" Stiles yelps as the other two children come rushing for him, Jack sitting on his legs, playing with his tail while Robin, lightly smacked him in the face. Just to see how resiliant the thing was.

"Kids, no! Get off of that thing!" Laura rushed, full panic mode switching back on as she tore out of Derek's grip.

"Heeeelp meeee," Stiles begged as Goldi stuck a finger in his ear and holy jesus if Stiles didn't know what pain was before, he sure did now.

"Wait, Laura, don't-" Derek muttered, not really moving to stop her as she ran up to Stiles, kicking him in the face and grabbing her children all in one swift move. "Oh," Derek muttered, as Stiles passed out on the floor, pretty sure he just saw his soul leave his body.

"Oh my god, are you okay!" Laura rushed, checking her children over as if somehow, during their assualt on Stiles, they were the ones who got hurt.

"Mom, I think he's bleeding," Jack pointed out, gesturing towards Stiles, blood dripping from his nose.

"Is he our new dog?" Goldi chimed in, buzzing with excitement.

"Pshhht, why would we get a dog? That's probably some sort of game, Uncle Derek brought in," Robin huffed, this smug look on his face as he looked at his mom. "I'm right, right? Right?"

"..." Laura was quiet for a moment as she looked at her son, the wheels clearly turning in her head. "Derek, get the knife,"

"... No,"

* * *

 **Some time later after Derek explains the full story and Laura kind of just sits there, listening.**

"Okay, let me get this right..." Laura breathes out slowly as she sits across the table from her brother who is looking really bored at this point, her kids -after many warnings- playing on the floor with Stiles unconsious body. "You got ambushed by that thing along the path-"

"Hardly an ambush," Derek cuts in as Laura waves an accusing finger over at Stiles.

"Whatever- that thing ate all the food and drank the wine, which is why you had to cut the trip short?" She questions, Derek slowly nodding his head.

"So when you came home and told me you didn't go to Unlce's house... you didn't think starting off with this whole story wasn't- I don't know- a lot more sensible?!" She huffs, flailing her arms and Derek just let's out a yawn, turning to see Robin sitting there with a buckets of rocks. Where the hell did he even get those?

"Derek, are you even liste- Robin stop that!" Laura huffs, notcing her son starting to shove rocks into Stiles' mouth.

"Wha..? But I only got three in so far!" Robin protested, Jack looking over at his brother with a frown on his face.

"When school starts. Let's pretend we don't know each other," He mutters, absently playing with Stiles' ears, Goldi hugging his bushy tail.

"Mom can we keep the dog? Pleeeaaase!" Goldi begs, Laura frowning slightly as she looked at her daughter, puppy eyes on full display.

"Ugh, well you see honey..." Laura trailed, Goldi looking up at her, her bottom lip sticking out, trembling slightly. "The thing is, we can't just..."

"Pwease?" She mutters, voice small, and it feels like a very important war has just been lost as Lauara looks away, her mentality broken down.

"Sure... we can keep it..." Laura breathes out, admitting defeat and Derek is just staring at her, smirking. "Shut up... That thing is a dog... right?"

"...Sure," Derek mutters after a long pause and now Laura is looking at him, eyebrow raised.

"What was with that pause?"

"Derek?...Derek-" A loud gasp sounded and all eyes were on Stiles as he shot up to a sitting position, eyes wide as he looked around the room, his gaze landing on the children.

"Wh- what is- ugh, why does my tongue taste like dirt?" Stiles cringed, sticking out his tongue as if the apendage offended him.

"Dirt... Definitley dirt.. not rock," Robin laughed nervously, slowly pushing away the bucket of rocks next to him as Stiles turned to look at him, eyes slowly narrowing as the boy averted his eyes to the floor.

"Hey, doggie? Why do you look so weird? How did you learn to talk? Are you a mut? Did you eavesdrop? Momma said you'll grow extra ears if you do that-"

"You're tongue will fall of if you ask too many questions as well," Derek cut in, frowning slightly as Goldi covered her mouth with both hands, a bewildered look on her face, but that wasn't what was making him scowl. Stiles was covering his mouth too, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Idiot! Why are you covering you're mouth too!?" Derek snapped, glaring at Stiles.

"You said-"

"I know what I said, it's not-" Derek cut himself off as Goldi looked at him, suddenly really just wanting to go to bed.

"Hey you, why did you eat everything in the basket?" Laura frowns, staring right at Stiles, pointing the end of the broom at him and Derek is looking at his sister, not sure what's more upsetting. The fact that, that's her first question for him, or the fact that Stiles really is simple.

"What?" Stiles frowns, staring at her for a moment as if trying to figure out something, besides the part where he wants to know where that broom suddenly came from. "Wait! Why the hell did you kick me!?" Stiles blurted out and Laura cheeks turned a light red as she looked away.

"I thought you were dangerous,"

"Why the hell are you blushing!?" Stiles flailed.

"It's embarrassing..."

"You kicked me in the face! I should be embarrassed! And what's with the viloence anyway? Are all of you just brutes?- "

"Stiles,"

"What?!" Stiles snaps looking over at Derek.

"Remember what'll happen if you ask questions," He warned, Stiles eyes going wide as he covered his mouth once more, Goldi doing the same. "I was telling him, not you- just forget it," Derek huffed, slowly shaking his head, grumbling to himself.

"I get why Goldi is doing it... but is he just simple...?" Laura whispered to her brother, Derek shaking his head at that.

"He says he's not, but I don't believe him," Derek mutters back, letting out a yawn.

"You're tired..." Laura frowns.

"Yeah, I noticed," Derek huffs, Laura rolling her eyes at that.

"Goldi, Robin, Jack, come on it's time to get back in bed," Laura breathes as she moves back to stand, a string of disgruntled protest sounding and all Stiles can think is 'thank god' as Laura prys Goldi from his tail.

"The circulation is coming back," Stiles breathed out in relief, holding his tail in his arms, whispering sweet nothings to it. "Don't worry, it's over now- Wait! What are their names?" Stiles stumbles out and Derek and Laura are frowning at him.

"Why..?" Laura drawls and Stiles flails his arms as if gesturing to the vast universe.

"Jack...Robin... I mean Goldi is just a red flag!" Stiles huffs, shaking his head. "I bet you're dating a prince huh?" He scoffs and Laura slowly shakes her head at that.

"His middle name is Prince, but I don't see what that has to do with any of this...?" She trails and Stiles honestly wouldn't be surprised if he started pooping golden eggs. "And we're married, not dating," She corrects, showing off her wedding ring as if flaunting around a trophy she won.

"What is that?" Stiles frowns, shaking his head. "What's with the shiny things?"

"Simple," Derek muttered, Stiles glaring at him, Laura heaving a sigh, she needed to leave before she caught his stupid.

"Stop calling me that!" The wolf snapped, making some sort of weird noise that Derek could only assume was a growl.

"Night, doggy!" Goldi pouts as Laura holds her in her arms, ushering the other two kids up the stairs.

"I'm not a dog," Stiles frowns and now Lauara is stopping, turning to look at Stiles.

"What?" She muttered, maybe she heard wrong.

"I said, I'm not a do-"

"Dawg. He means it's pronounced dog. Not dawg or doggy, just... dog," Derek cuts in, his hand over Stiles' mouth, the wolf struggling against his hold as Laura stares at the two of them and she looks so done with everything that has gone on today.

"... I'm going to put them to bed." She stated, staring at them a moment longer. "And then I'm going to bed,"

"Okay," Derek breathed, hand still on Stiles mouth as he struggled uselessly against him, letting out a muffled protest. Laura looked at them one last time before slowly going upstairs with Goldi in tow. "Good night!" Derek called, silence settling on them, Stiles letting out a gasp as Derek finally let him go.

"What the heck! Why did you lie? And just because you're all broody and muscular and you look like you could rip a cart in half does not mean- seriously why do you look like you eat testosterone for breakfast?" Stiles breathes and Derek just stares at him for a moment, before heading for the stairs.

"W-wait, where are you going?" Stiles rushes, following Derek up the stairs, the taller man heading down the hall. "Derek, what-" Stiles was cut off, running face first into Derek's back as the brooding male suddenly stopped in front of a door, frowning slightly as he looked at Stiles, opening said door.

"Come on, you're sleeping with me," Derek huffs, the words dead of emotion, yet his face looked like he was going to murder someone. Stiles paused at that, mouth hanging half open, ears drooping.

"W-well... this is so sudden," Stiles stumbled, tail wagging on it's own as he batted his eyelashes, suddenly bashful as he averted his eyes all shy like. "I'm flattered, but we only just met. To think you'd be this impatient," Stiles breathed, glancing up at Derek, freezing when he notices the utter disgust on Derek's face, his lips set in a permanent frown, eyes trained on Stiles as if he just saw something he wouldn't be able to talk about for years to come.

"Derek?" Stiles frowned watching as Derek slowly opened the door to his room, slipping inside only to close the door behind him, leaving Stiles out in the hallway. "Derek?" Stiles repeated, moving to open the door, but it was locked.

"... It was just a joke... Derek?"

 **And that's how the brave wolf, tamed the helpless and cowardly Derek Hale, the little red riding hoo-**

* * *

"Stiles who are you talking to? Hurry up and help me with the wood?" Derek huffs, axe in hand as he finishes chopping another piece of wood, eyes focused one Stiles now.

"Silence meaty slave," Stiles hissed, wagging an accusing finger at Derek in all his shirtless glory. Seriously who chops wood shirtless and who even has a six pack like that? "I'm trying to narrate the story, seeing how you gave up half way through!"

"Meaty...?" Derek trails eyes trained on Stiles, the word slave bouncing around in his head as his eyes slowly narrow and there should be some sort of survival instinct going off in Stiles head telling him that axe plus murderous gaze equals fur coat, but when you throw beefy muscles and perfectly placed sweat into the mix, Stiles couldn't even be mad at possibly being murdered.

"So I'm a slave now," Derek scoffs, a smile tugging at his lips, but it doesn't meet his eyes and wait, why is he walking towards Stiles? "I put food in your stomach," Derek breathes out and there's this dull pain in the sides of Stiles' head as Derek starts tugging on his very sensitive ears and Stiles suddenly regrets many, many things.

"Derek, stop! That hurts!" Stiles rushing, grabbing uselessly at Derek's wrists.

"I put a roof over your head, share my bed with you and even put up with your sexual harrassment-"

"To be fair you take off your shirt like your begging for it- Ow! Ow! Ow!" Stiles cries out as Derek pulls harder and really why the hell has he put up with this creature for a week?

"Wanna die?" Derek breathes out, his fingers curling around the soft part of Stiles ears, pinching slightly and Stiles is pretty sure this is what hell is like.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Stiles rushes out and Derek pinches his ears a few more times before finally letting him go, the poor boy rubbing gingerly at his ears as he stares up at Derek like he just kicked his dog. In this case, Stiles was the dog.

"I'm going back to the woods!" Stiles huffs and Derek raises a brow at that, clearly calling bull.

"Pftt... Why? So you can catch mice just to let them go?"

"Hey, that was only once! I had to end up saving you, remember?" Stiles rushes and Derek just stares at him, really hoping that was a joke. "... From boredom.." Stiles tacks on, voice going quiet, suddenly realizing how close he was. Jesus, was he always this tall? Stiles practically has to break his neck just to meet his eyes.

Seriously though, why is he so close? Stiles can smell the sweat rolling down his forehead, feel the heat coming off his muscles- no this is a fairytale, not an erotica. Seriously, this much sexiness is not allowed.

"H-hey, back up," Stiles breathes out, moving to push at Derek's chest and sweet baby jesus, is this what a tone chest feels like. Wait, no, it's firm yet squishy. It's like the perfect texture. Why is his chest so smooth?

"Stiles?" Derek frowns because Stiles is sort of just standing there, with his hand on his chest with his tail wagging like crazy. "Are you okay? You're red..." Derek frowned, noticing how flustered he was. Maybe he teased him a bit too much?

"Hey," Derek frowns, when he doesn't get a response, his hand grabbing the side of Stiles' face, making him look up at him and now Stiles' brain is fully shutting down. He can handle staring at pretty things, but touching them... that's a different story. And now Derek is leaning in to get a better look at his face and Stiles suddenly can't breathe. Seriously, he's gonna die if this keeps up-

There's this sudden loud clanking sound and both boys look up to see Laura standing there, her face completely red as she covers Robin's eyes, causing the bucket of rocks to fall out of his hand and spill out onto the ground. It's quiet for a long time as she stares at the scene before her, ignoring Robin as he struggles to see what's going on.

"Y-you know..." Laura begins, eyes focused on the hand Stiles' has on Derek's chest and the hand her brother has cupping Stiles' cheek. What the hell kind of scene is this? "I'm very progressive... but please... we have rooms for things l-like that," She breathes out and Stiles can feel the steam escaping his face, Derek's eyes narrowing as he slowly starts to catch on.

"Stiles, I understand... but I didn't know my brother could be so sh-shameless..." Laura mutters, picking up her child and hurrying off as if running from angry villagers.

"Wait..." Derek breathes, the torch going off in his head. "Laura, wait! This isn't that!" He rushes but she's already gone.

"She's right," Stiles breathes out, pulling this constipated look that make's even Derek go 'ew'. "We are shameless," Stiles groans as he crawls over to the abandoned bucket of rockets. When the hell did he drop to the ground?

"Wait, stop Stiles' those aren't edible," Derek frowns as Stiles starts stuffing his face with rocks.

"No, this is the only way. Just stuff me with rocks and throw me into the nearest river!" Stiles cries, muttering 'shameless' under his breath as he keeps shoving rocks into his mouth and now Derek is slapping them out of his hands.

"Not until you help me clear up things with Laura!" Derek huffs, grabbing at Stiles arms, but Stiles keeps trying to commit some sort of bizarre suicide.

"Are thou not ashamed!? Our forbidden love shant not prosper in this life time!" Stiles cries out, Derek dragging him now.

"What the hell are you saying!? This isn't shakespear!" He snaps, Stiles twisting around in his hold, begging for him to let him die. "Laura! Laura!"

"It's too late for me! I gave in to temptation! You truly are a beast Derek Hale! Decieving me with that body!"

"Stiles shut up!- Laura! Come back-"

"Let me die! I'l bite you! I will! You'll be just like me!"

"Stiles this isn't that kind of story!"

"I'll see you in hell, Romeo!"

"What are you- Ow, stop biting me! Stiles quit with the damn biting!"

"Stiles!"

 **As a troublesome wolf and a brooding young man step on each other's toes, their story is only beginning- A path was taken that they both unknowingly will take together. Where that path will take them is uncertain, but they will never take it alone.**

"Stiles, if you bite me one more time, I swear to god we'll be eating wolf stew tonight!"

"I'm ready to die! If it means doing away with this forbidden love!"

"There is no forbidden love! Shut up- God damnit Stiles!"

 **At least I think that's what will happen?**

 **The End...?**

* * *

"Hey..." Laura drawls, staring off into the distance, her son having freed himself from her grip long ago as she stares absently at the woods. "Aren't we forgetting something...?"

* * *

 **Somewhere, deep with the Dark forest, sits a tiny little hut and in that hut lays a sick uncle who-**

"...Ahh I think I'm dying..." Peter mumbles quietly to himself as he lay there in his bed, the room completely dark. "There's no more food and I'm too weak and sick to climb out of bed..." he breathes, a single tear falling.

"Did my family forget about me...?" He mutters, the silence his only answer as he slowly rolls over, his face buried in his pillow as a cough that sounds like absolute death, leaves his mouth. "... Probably,"

* * *

 **I might add a third chapter because I took out a lot of stuff to keep the chapter short but i'm on the fence about that. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this fluffy two-shot... maybe later on a three-shot!**


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